My previous posts have dealt with the less pleasant aspects of bipolar disorder, but it isn’t all bad. In the process of finding a diagnosis and facing myself I discovered some amazing truths. In learning about myself I also uncovered the good things; my strengths, my talents and my voice. Introspection and professional guidance helped me channel the positives and let go of the negatives.
I had always felt guilty about letting things and people go. I was afraid to offend or hurt anyone. Now I could finally give my self permission to cleanse my life by walking away from negative situations and avoiding energy-sapping people.
Healing doesn’t take place over night, but in order to heal I had to be brave and allow myself to make choices that benefitted me (and of course my magnificent daughter). I began to use choices to reclaim my power. I began to use choices to reclaim my life. I learned that I could be brave. I learned that I could be resolute. I learned that I could be disciplined. I learned that I could be courageous in the face of fear.
For the first time ever, I came to understand that I mattered and that I could make a difference. I felt empowered. Sure, there are times that I still feel overwhelmed, but now I have good things and good thoughts to hang on to. I have greater respect for myself and I take better care of myself.
My medical team has not only helped me cope with a bipolar diagnosis; in this process they have taught me life skills and given me effective tools to engage with the world around me.
I feel liberated, my diagnosis has given me a clear vantage point from which to understand my life. I feel unfettered, I have broken free from many of the fears that caged me. I know what my weaknesses are and I have concrete plans in place to deal with them.
I exercise, I sleep well, I manage my time, I enjoy the small pleasures in life and spend time with the people I love.
I know that there are many I’s in this post, but it is my intention to encourage others affected by bipolar. If my experiences can make a difference to just one life then every word written in this blog will be worthwhile.
Bipolar is not just a personality disorder, it is also an opportunity to take stock and take control.
I encourage you to get help and commit to treatment. I encourage you to not lose hope. But mostly I encourage you to give yourself permission to make good choices and reclaim your power.
“If we unchain the fears that hold us back, we are able to fly high and soar like eagles do!”
Heather Lee xx