Well, I am forty something, no longer a spring chicken and most certainly not ‘over the hill’ yet.
So why am I writing this post? Truth be told, I’m writing a reminder to myself. A reminder of the lessons I’ve learned along the way, the treasures I’ve uncovered and the big red flags that I should take notice of.
Since I’ve discovered blogging I have also discovered the power of putting pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard). This makes wisdom more accessible for future reference.
So here goes …
Remember when you were five years old and your family moved to new home. Remember that your dad bought a yellow rose-bush and told you it was yours. This made you feel unbelievably special. You thought that rose bushes were only for princesses and you deduced that you must then be equal to a princess in your dad’s eyes.
In that same year you fell ill and were sent to bed for a couple of days. Your mom brought you food in bed and put a purple pansy on the tray. Remember how important you felt. You thought that only princesses got with flowers on trays. You figured that your mom must think you’re a princess too.
You felt so loved and special. These little gestures had such an impact on you, so much so, that years down the line, you still remember how they made you feel.
The lesson to be learned here is that some of your sharpest memories are those of how you felt. Some were good feelings and some bad, but it is the feelings that stuck. You don’t necessarily remember what people said to you, did for you or gave you but you certainly do how they made you feel.
In life this is one of the most valuable lessons to be learned; how you make people feel has a far greater impact on them, than anything else. Strive to make people feel valued, appreciated and loved, this is what really counts in life.
In your childhood and adolescence, remember how anxious you were when little things didn’t go according to plan. You were pedantic about every little detail (admittedly you still are). When something small went awry you would have sleepless nights and fear the worst. The worst never happened! Remember that!
At the end of the school year it made no difference whether your books were untidy or you had dropped a mark or two. What really mattered was that you passed the year and moved onto the next grade.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, focus on the big picture and don’t let disappointments overwhelm you!
Can your remember that first time your heart was broken? You thought it would never mend, you wondered how you would ever breathe again. Well it is many years down the line and your heart is intact (mostly) and you are still breathing.
Remember that hearts do mend and you can move forward.
Then remember how you tortured yourself into being thin, skinny was the only way to be beautiful. Remember smelling amazing food and so desperately wanting to eat it, but you couldn’t because you needed to skinny. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be beautiful and consequently no one would love you!
Dear fuller-bodied self, you are no longer skinny, but you’re still loved, isn’t that amazing? You’re not loved for your outer shell, you’re loved for who you are, the sum total of all of you! (There’s lots of you now, so my guess is that there’s just more of you to love!)
(NOTE TO SELF AT THIS POINT: Remember how faithful and committed you were to exercising, well that’s a good thing, time to pick up on that again!)
Here is the thing you must not forget ; – remember all the people who have promised you the world, have they ever delivered? They haven’t, have they? It is crazy to pin all your hopes on someone or something.
If something sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true and when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time!
One last little reminder when you were four years old your gran bought a shiny new kettle. You were so fascinated by the shiny silver surface. You kept looking at your reflection in that kettle and you kept moving closer and closer to the shiny surface. What you didn’t notice was that the kettle was boiling. Eventually you were so close to the shiny surface that your nose touched the kettle and you got badly burned.
Things that that are shiny and intriguing are not always as lovely as they appear to be. It is best suss things (and people) out before getting too close!