Squirrels at a rave

Squirrels making music

While I was pondering what I should name this blog, I came across a quirky little post that said, “I don’t have ducks. Or rows.I  have squirrels at a rave.”  This amazingly accurate quote by Lori Hetteen perfectly describes the the chaos that is my brain, so thank you Lori!

I have often felt overwhelmed by the fact that I am ‘all over the show’. My brain does its own crazy thing most of the time and this frustrates me no end. My ducks aren’t ever in a row; my thoughts spin, jump and dive. Admittedly this happens at differing speeds, but these crazy thoughts certainly don’t line themselves up and present a smart, ordered front.

I am never zen. However once the raving squirrels have exhausted themselves and run me ragged, I collapse into a dark, cold, lonely burrow, desperately trying to hide myself from the world for a while.

This has been my life; rave, fall, rave, fall, rave, fall.

I do know now that I am not alone and even though this crazy dance may be frowned upon by some, there are many others affected by Bipolar disorder, who do the same crazy dance as I do.

My intention for this blog is to speak openly and frankly about my life pre and post diagnosis. I hope that by doing this, the message of being unashamed and not alone will find its way into the hearts of the many who are affected by Bipolar Disorder.

Heather Lee.



  1. Hey Heather – my friend Lori Hetteen wrote this quote. If you wouldn’t mind crediting her, that would be awesome! This phrase went a little bananas and she’s losing credit where it is due. Check her out on instagram @lorihetteen or on her Facebook business page Lori Hetteen Art and Illustration.
    Thank you!


      • Hi Pete,

        The saying is based on another saying and refers to ducks that generally walk in a straight line. “I have all my ducks in a row”, meaning my life is neat, organised and ‘in a row’.

        “I don’t have ducks, I don’t have rows,” is then the opposite of ‘having all my ducks in a row” implies that my life is not neat and organised, it is chaotic.

        The reference to squirrels is that squirrels don’t walk in neat rows, they dash around. They are not calm and organised. Squirrels at a rave (dance/party) would imply that they are not only going about their normal dashing and running around, but they are now (all together) at a party venue and dancing to rave music.

        I hope this makes sense.

        Regards, Heather


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